Bruna Griphao and Gabriel do BBB23: 6 signs of an abusive relationship and how to deal with it

The love story between the participants of the Big Brother Brazil Gabriel Tavares And Bruna Griphao generated discussions on social media. Some netizens point out that the 24-year-old boy’s behavior with the actress is abusive. This Sunday, 22, the presenter Thaddeus Schmidt decided to intervene and warn reality show participants about the aggression that exists in dating the two.

Bruna and Gabriele started dating already at the first party of this edition of the program, which took place last Thursday 18th. friction which is usually taken as a joke by the two.

Gabriel complains that the actress constantly interrupts him when he speaks and that she is “clingy”. He sometimes he did too aggressive way, holding Bruna by the shoulders. She even made a few offense to her in a joking tone.

According to psychoanalyst Natalia Marques, a specialist in romantic relationships, aggression is one of the symptoms of abusive relationships. “This aggression can be both verbal and physical and can often be justified as a joke, which creates confusion for the victim. ‘Am I exaggerating and is this just a joke?’ ‘Am I the one bothering me for worrying about this?’” she says.

After Tadeu’s speech, Bruna and Gabriel spoke and declared not remembering or realizing the problematic attitudes. Gabriel said he felt bad about the situation, that this kind of attitude doesn’t do justice to his character and that he owed Bruna’s family an apology. The actress stated that it wasn’t just her fault and that the The biggest problem in the relationship is the lack of dialogue. So they decided to leave.

After the repercussions of the case and Tadeu’s intervention live, the former reality show participant Emily Araújo, who suffered an abusive relationship inside the house in the 2017 edition, took the stand. “Congratulations, Globo, for doing what you should have done in 2017… This way, Bruna doesn’t need to go through more than 4 years of therapy to try to overcome psychological and physical aggression, like me,” she said.

Even before the Sunday show aired, Bruna’s father posted an Instagram story calling Gabriel abusive. Subsequently, the actress’s team issued a statement stating that “in no context can you hear rude and aggressive speech from another person.”

Official note from Bruna Gripao’s team on the violent relationship between the actress and participant Gabriel. Photography: Playback/Instagram: @brunagripao

to watch 6 common behaviors in abusive relationships and the psychoanalyst’s advice for dealing with situations like these.

One of the most common characteristics of an abusive relationship, according to Natalia, is hurt. They can happen from aggressively or jokingly and have the power to, in the long run, undermine the offended person’s self-esteemmaking her feel increasingly attached to her abusive partner because she believes no one else would accept her as she is.

The expert assures that, even as a joke, the behavior causes psychological damage to the offended partner, especially when it comes to women, as they already tend to have self-esteem problems due to the machismo present in society.

At the BBB, Gabriel offended Bruna, often in front of the other attendees and as a joke. He also said that the actress looked like a “tick” for not letting him go and, in one of the episodes, he compared Bruna’s nose to a blue macaw’s beak and a rhino’s horn.

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In an abusive relationship, aggression can manifest itself not only in offenses, but also in physical contact and attitudes, says the psychologist. Aggressive character of the partner can appear with punch the wall, yell out, blackmail or in the act of Constantly block and unblock partner on social media.

More than a moment, Gabriel held Bruna’s arms so that she would stop interrupting him or forcing her to do what she wanted. Even if sometimes the tone is joking and Bruna doesn’t speak out against her, these attitudes can be seen as a warning sign.

3. Lack of constructive dialogue

One of the pillars of a healthy relationship is dialogue and, on the other hand, the lack of it is a sign of a toxic relationship. The psychoanalyst explains that both parties must be willing to do it talk and listen to each other in a peaceful way. According to her, the couple should try to solve problems and not just defend or accuse, always wanting to be right.

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“In a healthy relationship there are uncomfortable dialogues, but never violent confrontations. So, it’s important that we realize this difference between discussing the relationship, the famous DR, and a violent fight,” he says. “It is necessary to build a dialogue in which everyone reflects on their responsibilities, on their mistakes and from there manages to make a change”.

Before Tadeu’s speech, Bruna sought out Gabriel to try and talk about the rude attitudes he had with her, also mentioning that this could be disapproved of by the program’s audience. However, the participant did not apologize for his actions, nor did he listen to Bruna.

Gabriel defended himself, imposed his point of view and said that what could actually harm his image were not his own attitudes, but Bruna’s accusatory speech. Eventually, the actress ended up apologizing to him.

4. Loss of individuality

Over time, the abused person tends to do so lose your individuality and also the change your personality, emphasizes Natalia. This happens mainly due to the constant insults that she receives.

“The person can become calmer, move away from friends and stop doing the things he loved to do to model himself according to the expectations of his partner,” explains the psychoanalyst. At the same time, due to low self-esteem, manipulation and passion, people tend to do this overestimating the abusive partnerassuming it “knows better” and “is better”.

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In some conversations with other participants of the Reality show, Bruna has shown a degree of dependency and an overstated view of Gabriel. She said she constantly worries about her boyfriend’s possible exclusion and she also said that she “she can’t walk away” because he is “essential to the game.”

5. People around the couple feel uncomfortable

“It is very common when we are in an abusive relationship that people around us feel uncomfortable. There are several dynamics that cause this nuisance. For example, many people remember couples of friends who argue every time they go out, causing discomfort in the whole group,” says Natália.

In most cases, the people in the relationship are so immersed and in love that they do not notice harmful behavior, emphasizes the expert. Nonetheless, anyone looking from the outside can see signs of trouble.

Although Bruna and Gabriel say they don’t feel like they’re in a toxic relationship, other program participants have already shown some degree of discomfort with their relationship. In one episode, participant Cara de Sapato said they are a “boring couple.” Even Bruna’s friend Larissa Santos warned the actress a couple of times that she was lost in the game because of the affair.

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6. There is manipulation and a person always feels guilty about everything

Manipulation is a major symptom of an abusive relationship, says Natalia. “It’s normal for there to be a dynamic where the victim complains about their partner and they respond in a way that puts the blame on the victim,” she says.

The violent person tends to justify your aggression with behaviors that you find annoying on the part of your partnerfor example, always shirk their responsibilities. This causes, once again, the abused person to see himself confused and to feel guilty for the abuse he has suffered.

Shortly after Tadeu’s speech, Gabriel called Bruna to talk and, before apologizing for what the presenter mentioned – a moment in which he threatened to nudge the actress – said that he should speak publicly that it was not offensive in his comparisons.

The attitude was seen by netizens as manipulation. In the same conversation and others, Bruna said she felt guilty about Gabriel’s public portrayal.

How to get out of an abusive relationship?

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According to the psychoanalyst, the best way to leave or avoid an abusive relationship is self-awarenesswhich can be done with the help of psychotherapy.

The person who is or is prone to abuse needs to identify why they tend to be passive in abusive situations. At the same time, the abuser must understand where his aggressive and manipulative traits come from, emphasizes the expert.

After self-knowledge, the second step is start a process for establish a healthy dialogue, resolve communication noise. Gradually, the two have to give in to adjust behaviors so that both feel good in the relationship.

Due to the characteristics of society, women are generally the victims of abuse and men are the perpetrators, but these roles can be reversed. Also, it’s not just heterosexual relationships that are abusive. Couples of all genders and sexual orientations can face the problem.

How to help someone in an abusive relationship?

Natália points out that being very direct with a person who is in an abusive relationship may not be the best way. This is because realizing that you are in a situation like this can be a difficult, slow and painful process.

The psychoanalyst recommends that friends make small comments, always in private, so that the abused person pays attention to what is happening. Likewise, you can mention that that abusive friend’s attitude is not nice, explaining why.

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Friends they should not abandon the person who is in an abusive relationship. “Often friends get tired and irritated because the person doesn’t seem to want to see. But this can be harmful, as the person ends up becoming more and more alone and immersed in the abusive relationship,” says Natalia.

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